My DVD Collection

Obviously, if you’ve visited my blog for any length of time, you can tell I rather enjoy movies. Along with enjoying trips to the theater, I also enjoy nights of watching a movie on my home theater. Over the years, I’ve amassed a nice collection. I’m sure it’s nowhere as large as some of you out there, but it’s big enough to call a collection, and so I’m going to share it with you. Once or twice a week I’ll add 3 of my DVD’s to the list, give you the plot, and then give you my opinion about it, positive or negative. I always like hearing about movies other people enjoy, so hopefully this will lead to you guys picking up a movie or two you may not have otherwise considered.

First Blood - Sly Stallone

Plot: Ex-Green Beret John Rambo wanders up north in search of a friend. Rambo was awarded with the medal of honor for his service in Vietnam but has not found solace in the States thereafter. And he certainly does escape prejudice when a small town’s tough, idealistic sheriff spots him entering. The sheriff believes Rambo would be something of a light disturbance to the town and tries to keep him out. When Rambo rebels and then escapes into the cold misty forests, the force embarks on a massive manhunt to subdue him flanked by his former superior officer Colonel Trautman who knows the odds and ends of Rambo’s cunning.

My Opinion: Of all the “Rambo” movies, this is my favorite.  It’s a fucking war in the middle of a small town. Explosions, fights, and guns…’nuff said. The best part of the whole movie is the fact that Sly hardly talks. Quite frankly, that’s the way all of his movies should be. Dialog isn’t Stallone’s strong point. Killing/Fighting, he can handle that, and Rambo has plenty. If you haven’t seen this, do so.

Batman Begins - Christian Bale

Plot: In tone with the early “Batman: Year One” style comics. As a boy a young Bruce Wayne watched in horror as his millionaire parents were slain in front of his eyes, a trauma which led him to become obsessed with revenge but his chance is cruelly taken away from him by fate. After disappearing to the East where he seeks counsel with the dangerous but honorable ninja cult leader known as Ra’s Al-Ghul, he returns to his now decaying Gotham City overrun by organized crime and dangerous individuals manipulating the system whilst the company he inherited is slowly being pulled out from under him. The discovery of a cave under his mansion, and a prototype armored suit leads him to take on a new persona, one which will strike fear into the hearts of men who do wrong - he becomes, Batman. In the new guise, and with the help of rising cop Jim Gordon, Batman sets out to take down the various nefarious schemes in motion by individuals such as mafia don Falcone, the twisted doctor/drug dealer Jonathan ‘The Scarecrow’ Crane, and a mysterious third party that is quite familiar with Wayne and waiting to strike when the time is right.

My Opinion: This movie right here is the best comic book based movie there is. Now, I might be biased since I’m a huge Batman fan, but the fact remains, this is the best there is. Gone are the cartoonish characters left over from the original Batman movies. The new director left the cheese behind and now we’re left with a Batman and Gotham City that actually represent what the characters were meant to display. I credit this movie for getting me interested in comic books, and I highly recommend this for everyone.

American History X - Edward Norton

Plot: Derek Vinyard (Edward Norton) returns from prison to find his younger brother, Danny (Edward Furlong), caught in the same web of racism and hatred that landed him in prison. After Derek’s father is killed in the line of duty by a minority, Derek’s view of mankind is altered, but while in prison, he discovers that there is good and bad in every race. The task before him now is to convince Danny of his newfound enlightenment.

My Opinion: For those of you who’ve seen this movie, curb stomp is all I’ve got to say.  That scene right there is one of my all time favorite scenes in my movie watching history. Every time I watch it my insides feel funny. Besides that, though, this movie is kind of an eye opener and makes you realize just how much time people can waste hating others for no reason at all. I don’t watch this one often, but I love it nonetheless. Rent this ASAP.

I’ve got a confession…

I really, really, really don’t feel like blogging. I don’t feel like getting on the internet. I don’t feel like looking for material to write about. I don’t feel like uploading pictures. I just don’t feel like doing any of it.

I don’t know what it is. The holidays came, I took a break, and the machine kind of got rusty. This isn’t the first time this has happened to me in my adventures as a blogger. I’ve had 5,6, shit I don’t know, a lot of blogs, and eventually I get burnt out with each and every one of them. With others I just threw my hands up in the air, deleted the blog, took a break, and eventually started something fresh a month or so later.

I’m not going to do that this time. Hell, I might feel differently tomorrow. This blog is here to stay, I just need a break. I don’t feel like forcing it, ya know? It doesn’t help that I have to go to the dirtiest city in America (Philly) for 3 days this week for some training either.

Lately, it’s just been too hard to divide my time amongst all my interests. I have a girlfriend, a Wii, a PS3 (2 days old), a dog, a full time job, about 15 books I just bought, exercise that needs to but never gets done, and this blog that all need my time and attention. Plus other shit I’m probably forgetting about. It’s just too hard to divide my time evenly.

With all that said, I’m going to take the next week and try and figure out the best way to divide my time amongst all my interests. If it means I have to get up early to exercise before work, so be it. And I have to come home for lunch to play video games, I can do that too.

Just bare with me, though, as I take this time off. Don’t forget about me, for I shall return, and glorious it all shall be. If you blog, you know what I’m going through. And if you don’t, you’ll have to take my word for it.

Feel free to start some cybersex sessions up in the comment bar while I’m off. If it’s good, I’ll come out of hibernation to textually sex you down ASAP.

What could of been…

As I write this there are 8 minutes and 30 seconds left in the Fiesta Bowl, and my Mountaineers are up 48-28. Wow! That’s all I can say. After everything that has happened to this team over the past month, I’ll admit I really wasn’t expecting a great performance tonight.

Tonight was all about effort and heart. It would have been easy for WVU to come out feeling sorry for themselves over their lost chance at a National Title, and having their bitch of a coach bail on them right after putting up the worst coaching performance known to man against Pitt.  But they didn’t. They came out, played hard, played for each other, and yes, they won the Fiesta Bowl. Despite what a lot of fans around the country may say, this team was, and is for real.

I’ve been a little worried about the future of WVU football lately. At times, I wish Rich Rod would have stayed and took us to that National Title we’ve been edging towards. But fuck you Rich Rod. I know see we don’t need you. Not only that, but we don’t want you either.

Let’s Go Mountaineers!!!

An Honor Above All Others

Growing up I wanted to be part of a professional team that won some sort of championship. I came close when I won the singles and doubles badminton title at Penn State Fayette Campus as a junior (true story), but this honor ranks higher than any I’ve ever received before. It’s even better than the handjob I got in fourth grade for winning a spelling b….

Abarclay, the writer of my favorite blog (The Leaky Brain) in all the blogosphere decided to  dedicate an entire post, to nothing but quotes I’ve said over the past few months on her blog. How awesome is that? Can I ever acheive anything great as a blogger? I doubt it, and this has me considering retirement as a blogger(I’m lying). What else do I have to prove?

Here are a few of the highlights from her post:

ON HAVING SEX WITH YOUR BICYCLE:

“I don’t understand what’s wrong with bike sex.  What if it’s a really nice Gary Fisher and you’re just totally enthused over the fact that you own one.  Why can’t you bust a nut on the handle bars without feeling guilty?  I usually like to fuck my bike in 18th gear because I can stroke it slower.  When you’re in 5th or higher, you’ve got to pump way too fast.  It’s too hard to enjoy it that way, and you get tired.”

ON THE SEXUAL T’s FIRST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE:

“I got my first reach around in fourth grade.”

ON RAISING SAFER CHILDREN:

“I think we should breastfeed babies beer as soon as they exit the vagina.  Why?  If they drink beer everyday from the time they are born, their tolerance will be such that they’ll never be able to drink enough to wreck a car.”

You’ll have to go to The Leaky Brain for more of wisdom and sage advice.

Again, Abarclay, I’m truly honored by this post. Thank you, and may God and his lactose intolerant son be with you always.

My DVD Collection

Obviously, if you’ve visited my blog for any length of time, you can tell I rather enjoy movies. Along with enjoying trips to the theater, I also enjoy nights of watching a movie on my home theater. Over the years, I’ve amassed a nice collection. I’m sure it’s nowhere as large as some of you out there, but it’s big enough to call a collection, and so I’m going to share it with you. Once or twice a week I’ll add 3 of my DVD’s to the list, give you the plot, and then give you my opinion about it, positive or negative. I always like hearing about movies other people enjoy, so hopefully this will lead to you guys picking up a movie or two you may not have otherwise considered.

 V for Vendetta - Natalie Portman - Hugo Weaving

Plot: Set against the futuristic landscape of totalitarian Britain, V For Vendetta tells the story of a mild-mannered young woman named Evey who is rescued from a life-and-death situation by a masked vigilante known only as “V.” Incomparably charismatic and ferociously skilled in the art of combat and deception, V ignites a revolution when he detonates two London landmarks and takes over the government-controlled airwaves, urging his fellow citizens to rise up against tyranny and oppression. As Evey uncovers the truth about V’s mysterious background, she also discovers the truth about herself - and emerges as his unlikely ally in the culmination of his plot to bring freedom and justice back to a society fraught with cruelty and corruption.

My Opinion: Love it. Simply, love it. I hadn’t read the graphic novel prior to watching this movie (I since have), so I didn’t really know what to expect, other than what the trailer showed me. Let me just say my girlfriend and I left the theater floored. My girlfriend’s first sentence after we got out of the theater was “Dude, that just made my dick hard.” Yes, it was that good. And yes, I know it’s not as good as the graphic novel. It is awesome though. I love the whole “one man’s idea can start a revolution thing” V for Vendetta has going on. After watching this, you’ll want to go home and rage against the machine yourself. Oh yeah, and the fight scenes are cool as hell. Don’t just rent this one, buy it.

Reservoir Dogs - Quentin Tarintino

Plot: Six criminals, who are strangers to each other, are hired by a crime boss Joe Cabot to carry out a diamond robbery. Right at the outset, they are given false names with an intention that they won’t get too close and concentrate on the job instead. They are completely sure that the robbery is going to be a success. But when the police show up right at the time and the site of the robbery, panic spreads amongst the group members and one of them is killed in the subsequent shootout along with a few policemen and civilians. When the remaining people assemble at the premeditated rendezvous point (a warehouse), they begin to suspect that one of them is an undercover cop

My Opinion: Just as simple as it was for me to say I loved V up above, I can just as easily say that Reservoir Dogs sucks donkey dick. There’s no reason at all to like this movie, let alone rub one out to it like so many people like to do.  It’s one long ass movie of endless talking, bitching, and being paranoid. Oh, what beautiful cinematic artistry! Bite me. Other than the scene where Mr. Blonde cuts off ears and all that other shit, this movie is boring, stupid, and pretty much one big excuse for Quentin Tarintino to stroke his huge fucking ego (it’s almost as big as forehead) with the “creative” diatribes he wrote for this movie . Obviously, this movie sucks. Don’t go anywhere near it.

 The Ninth Gate - Johnny Depp

Plot:  The sleazy book dealer Corso (Depp) is hired by the obscure obsessive Balkan to find the only other two copies of his rare book in existence. The book is called ‘The Nine Gates of the Kingdom of Shadows’, and Balkan wants to authenticate his copy of this 17th century occult work, said to have been written by the devil. And thus begins an almost ‘Angel heart’ish (remember that one with Rourke and De Niro) escapade, filled with physical and supernatural catalysts and obstacles.

My Opinion: This isn’t the greatest Depp film I’ve ever seen, but it’s worth a rental.  There’s no great moral to the story. It’s just one long mystery unraveling type movie, where you go from place to place, slowly putting the pieces to the puzzle together, and figuring out what you’re looking to figure out. In this case, Depp wants to find the devil. It’s as simple as that.I wouldn’t buy it, but if you’re a fan of the devil, here’s your chance to find out how to get to him.

My DVD Collection

Obviously, if you’ve visited my blog for any length of time, you can tell I rather enjoy movies. Along with enjoying trips to the theater, I also enjoy nights of watching a movie on my home theater. Over the years, I’ve amassed a nice collection. I’m sure it’s nowhere as large as some of you out there, but it’s big enough to call a collection, and so I’m going to share it with you. Once or twice a week I’ll add 3 of my DVD’s to the list, give you the plot, and then give you my opinion about it, positive or negative. I always like hearing about movies other people enjoy, so hopefully this will lead to you guys picking up a movie or two you may not have otherwise considered.

Clerks - Kevin Smith

Plot: Dante Hicks is a clerk at a local convenience store in New Jersey. On one particular Saturday morning, he gets called in on his day off. Once there, he must deal with multiple problems. The shutters outside won’t open. His ex-girlfriend, whom he is still in love with, is getting married. His girlfriend, who bugs him about starting college, has revealed certain, uh…stuff about her past. His boss hasn’t come in to take his place. He has a hockey game at 2 o’clock. Another ex has died, and today’s the last day he can go to her wake. He must deal with customers that aren’t so intelligent. His friend, Randal, a clerk at the video store next door, is even less dedicated to his job than Dante, and is always bothering Dante’s customers. And the biggest problem of them all: HE’S NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE THERE TODAY!! Can Dante manage it all?

My Opinion: This movie is okay. Mallrats is way better if you’re looking for a good Kevin Smith film. One thing that bothers me about Kevin Smith movies are the long ass diatribes the characters go through, spouting off all these insightful thoughts about how ironic the world is. Clerks is full of that kind of crap. I’d probably pass on this one.

Kids

Plot: Kids follows a group young, unsupervised, not mature, but all-too-grown-up kids in New York. One girl has just been diagnosed with HIV and is trying to notify the boy who gave it to her, who is on a quest to sexually prey upon innocent girls. The film follows these characters and their friends through the day, hanging out, playing, carousing, and going to parties. Each scene is intriguing and disturbing — conveying an urban reality that includes drugs, sex, guns, and disease; and yet never letting you forget these are *kids*, some of them barely in puberty.

My Opinion: I really like this movie. It’s kind of depressing watching all of this stuff go down, but it’s a real eye opener, even after 10+ years. It’s kind of like a dramatic documentary on kids and HIV. I can’t imagine anyone would not like this movie. If you watch, you’ll definitely come away thinking about the world a little differently.

Ed Wood - Johnny Depp

Plot: You are interested in the unknown. The mysterious. The unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you the full story of what happened, on that fateful day. We are giving you all the evidence, based only on a secret testimony, of the miserable souls, who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places. My friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Can your heart stand the shocking facts about Edward D. Wood, Jr?

My Opinion: I love Johnny Depp, but this movie fucking sucks. It’s way too artsy for me. When I first bought it, I had no idea it was a biopic of a real guy. It’s dry, boring, long repititive, etc. Nothing good comes of it at all. Avoid this movie at all costs. It’s not worth it. Trust me. I suffered for all of you. I wouldn’t say it’s a bad movie though. They just picked a topic that nobody on planet earth should be interested in.

Some Home Photos

I had some pictures I uploaded to PC today, so I figured I’d share some of them with you guys. Ladies, you might want to wait and look at these until you’re at home alone. More than likely you’ll want to touch yourself after checking me out.

Our rinky dink Xmas tree.

Our tree again. Unfortunately, none of those presents are for me.

I don’t know what I was doing here, but I do know that scruff makes me look sexy. That hat is the shit too. Vintage ‘92

It was pretty packed that day. I kind of enjoyed it though because it was cold as all hell.

My brother in law Jonathan, me, and Beano representing WVU.

Zoe aka Joyce and me at the game.

My sister Lauren, Dad, brother Matt, and me. I already know I look like my dad.

Woman Volleyball Signals Decoded

I came across these different girls volleyball signals, and I thought I’d share with you guys exactly what I think each one means. I may be wrong on one or two, but I think it’s pretty obvious what each of these girls is trying to say with their hands hidden behind their sexy little asses.

Basically, what this girl is trying to say, is that if you finger me later, I’ll give you a handjob. I think that’s pretty obvious.

This one is simple too. Obviously, all she wants here is a 3some.

This one is a tad more subtle then the others. Not only is she using hand signals, she also used her bikini bottom to send a message. She is pointing directly at what she wants, but she’s also trying to give you a slight preview. Obviously, this girl wants fucked in the ass.

I had to think about this one for a minute, but with a little thought I finally realized what she’s trying to say. What she’s saying is that her pussy isn’t tight enough to get off with only one finger. If you want to turn this bitch on, you need to shove your whole hand up that snatch.

These aren’t 100% accurate interpretations of the codes, so feel free to add your own guesses to the comment bar. However, I’m confident they are pretty close. Do you have any guesses what the rest of these signals mean?

The Crazy Life and Times of Sexual T

After my Mountaineers were upset the other night, I was sure my phone was going to be full of text messages from one or two of my dickheaded friends saying something stupid. I turned my ringer off and had my girlfriend delete anything that was sent so I wouldn’t be tempted to say something smart back. I was pissed, and it wouldn’t have been that hard to really say something mean — even over a football game. You think you love your team, but you have no idea how much I love WVU.

Anyways, even though I didn’t read the texts he sent, the fact that he cheers for WVU and Pitt really gets on my fucking nerves. Pick one. You can’t like both. And if you’re going to swing both ways, don’t talk shit when the team I root for loses. Ladies and Gentleman — this is what happens when you talk shit about my team. You get stories told about you for all of cyberspace to read.

Let me take you back to December 31st, 2006. My friend came down to Baltimore to celebrate New Year’s with us. He came down the year before and had fun, so we figured year two would be just as good. Wrong! My friend is the type of guy who likes to tell you what you’re going to do. Let’s go here till 10. Let’s go here till 12. Let’s eat here. It goes on and on. When you’re a guest of someone’s, you don’t call the shots. That got on my nerves, and it really had my girlfriend fired up.

Whatever, we try to deal with him, go out, have fun, and bring in the new year right. Obviously, that doesn’t work. Instead of hanging around my girlfriend and I, he decides to wander all through the club, getting lost for huge chunks of time. I don’t know about you, but my idea of fun isn’t wandering around a club looking for someone all night. In fact, it’s a pain in the ass — especially when you’re girlfriend is yelling at you about what your friend is doing.

Despite all this, we’re still having an alright time at the club, dancing and what not, but my friend couldn’t leave well enough alone. He had to leave this club and make his way to the next. So without really talking to us about it, he decides to bolt out of the club without getting stamped, and he makes his way into another club without asking us if that’s where we wanted to go. He basically ran into other club, paid, and went in without even making sure we were following. So what were we supposed to do? By this time, I’m really getting pissed. Now I have to pay to go into a club I really don’t want to go in. And to top it all of, we’re going to an all Latin club. Great.  I love listening to music I don’t know, surrounded by people I don’t understand, and guys who look at my girl like a piece of meat.

Needless to say, my girlfriend is pissed as hell by this point.  Eventually, we find him on the other side of the club. I go over to him and ask him what the hell he’s doing. He doesn’t really say much, but I notice he’s really staring at this one “girl”.

“Sexual T, is that a guy or a girl?

“I honestly don’t know man. Joyce, what do you think?”

“I’m not sure, but whatever it is, it’s ugly as hell”

Mind you, even though we’d been out for awhile, my friends intoxication level wasn’t anything exceptional. If anything, he had a slight buzz going on. Nothing out of the ordinary.  But he comes back to me one more time and asks if that person was a girl or a guy. Well, my girlfriend heard him and tells him it’s a girl. Next thing I know, he walks over to this person and starts making out with them. Tongues are touching, hands are wandering and I’m kind of beside myself.

“Joyce, is that really a girl?” I ask.

“No way. But that’s what he gets for being a dick all night.”

“Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.”

So I let him go at it for awhile. I don’t know what the fuck he was doing, but all of the sudden he gets this tight ass grip on “her” body and starts dry humping her hard as hell, right there for everyone to see. Now I’m embarrassed. Not only is he dry humping someone in public, he’s dry humping a fucking he/she.  Everyone around us is pointing and laughing.

“Hey man, get over here.”

“Yo, what’s up Sexual T?”

“Dude, I think you’re making out with a guy?”

“No way. Joyce said it was a girl.”

“Yeah, but all her friends are laughing at you while you’re kissing her”

This is when it gets funny. All the sudden he acts like he’s drunk as hell and can’t control himself. He starts dry heaving, telling me “he’s not like that”, and he needs to go home. So he carries on the whole way to the car, acting like he’s drunk out of his mind, but my girlfriend and I know better.  Well, I’m still pissed about the way he acted, so I decide to fuck with him on the drive home.

“You think that was a guy you were kissing”

“No way. That was a girl”

“I don’t know man, she had a big Adam’s apple. Was she wearing perfume or cologne?”

“Perfume man. That was a girl.”

“You sure? She was really manly. She didn’t even have tits.  You guys were getting at it out there, did you put your hands down her pants? (I knew he didn’t) Did you feel balls or anything?”

“No man. I felt pussy”

“I hear they can tuck their junk really well though. You might just have felt tucked testes or something. I wish you would have waited for us to go in. Didn’t you hear them say it was Latin Transvestite Night?”

“Are you serious? Damn, why didn’t you say anything?”

“We tried, but you practically ran in there.”

So what’s the moral of the story? Don’t pick on a wounded sports fan. We will burn you.

My Favorite Crackhead

I can’t help but love this video. I honestly think this is the third blog of mine this video has made an appearance on. Crackhead Kevin Stevens doesn’t do the greatest job of trash talking, but he does make it pretty funny. Anytime you question another man’s masculinity the way he did, you know you’re doing something good. “Lay on the ice like a broad Bellows.” I still don’t understand why Brian Trottier chimes in with a “titfucker” comment at the end. Is that bad? And I like at the end how you can hear them cracking up at their own shit. Classic stuff here. I knew there was a reason he was my favorite Penguin back in the day.